Do you have a strong foundation in your sobriety? Establishing solid foundations is crucial for any significant change. In sobriety, these foundations consist of three key building blocks. In this article, I will explore each of these building blocks in detail.
First building block
What is the first building block? It is a mindset. Mindset serves as the foundation upon which all other elements are built. You may have the best strategies, coaches, or therapists, but without the right mindset, these resources won’t lead to significant change in your life. Your mindset fundamentally shapes your destiny. This process involves identifying and removing limiting beliefs while instilling new, empowering ones.
Athlete of sobriety
What constitutes a winning mindset in sobriety? It’s a concept I like to call the “Athlete of Sobriety.” When you approach your recovery with the same dedication and commitment that athletes bring to their sports, your path to sobriety becomes much more assured. This means being devoted to understanding addiction, studying yourself, taking care of your physical health, and cultivating a strong mental state where healing can thrive. It also involves redesigning your life in a way that incorporates activities and passions that inspire you. This is how you become an Athlete of Sobriety—the mindset that can overcome any addiction.
The second crucial aspect of this mindset is long-term thinking. Recovery is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. This perspective is vital. If you cannot think long-term, it becomes challenging to create lasting sobriety and build a fulfilling life. In a world filled with instant gratification, long-term thinking is becoming increasingly rare. However, by adopting this mindset, you can enjoy rewards and achievements that others often overlook.
Limitations
What are some common limiting mindsets in sobriety? The first is the belief that “addiction is a disease.” Consider how this statement makes you feel. It can evoke a sense of hopelessness, as the idea of having a disease suggests a lack of control over your addiction. This perspective confines you to a survival mentality—an outlook where the focus is simply on enduring rather than thriving. However, sobriety isn’t about merely surviving; it’s about creating a fulfilling and vibrant life for yourself.
Another prevalent limiting belief is the notion that “life will be boring without alcohol” or “it’s difficult to have fun without drinking.” This perspective is simply not true. Life may only seem boring if you continue to embody the same identity you had while drinking. These beliefs are tied to the identity associated with addiction. When you begin to shift your identity and design a new life rooted in sobriety, you will discover that life is anything but boring.
Lastly, let’s discuss the frequently held limiting beliefs about ourselves. It’s essential to examine these beliefs closely. What do you truly think about yourself? Do you believe you can live an extraordinary life without alcohol? What are your thoughts on quitting drinking? If you find it difficult to envision this journey, the answer may lie within your beliefs. Remember, change your beliefs, and you change your destination.
The second building block of sobriety
Do you know why many people struggle to achieve success in their sobriety? The answer often lies in their obsession with behavior. They become fixated on the surface manifestations of addiction—whether it’s alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, or even money. These behaviors are merely symptoms of a deeper issue.
To make genuine progress in sobriety, it’s crucial to understand the underlying factors driving addiction. The second building block is identifying the problem. Albert Einstein once said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, he would spend 55 minutes understanding the problem and only 5 minutes on the solution. When you take the time to accurately identify and analyze the root issues, solving them becomes much more manageable.
While the identifying process may be the most challenging part, it becomes easier when you know precisely what you’re looking for. By digging deeper into the root causes of your addiction, you can begin to unravel its grip on your life and make meaningful strides toward recovery.
What to look for?
What are you looking for in the identification process? The answer is pain. Trauma serves as a crucial component in addiction, largely contributing to its persistence and difficulty in stopping. Addiction is fundamentally a psychological issue, and it often fulfills certain psychological needs. At its core, addiction is rooted in discontentment—specifically, the discontentment we feel with ourselves or our lives.
When individuals cannot enjoy their own presence and are accustomed to living in a state of discontent, it’s understandable that they may turn to addiction as a means of achieving temporary contentment. That fleeting sense of relief can be profoundly significant for someone trapped in a cycle of discontent. For many, addiction represents a form of freedom—a personal escape from dissatisfaction. This is the true nature of addiction: it offers a semblance of liberation from the pain of discontentment.
It’s a basic human need to feel a sense of enjoyment in one’s own being. When this need goes unmet, individuals may seek out anything that provides even a momentary feeling of contentment. At times, this desire is so strong that it overshadows the negative consequences of their actions, leading them to engage in addictive behaviors regardless of the potential harm.
The allure of addiction lies not merely in the pleasure it provides, but in its ability to fulfill psychological needs that are deeply lacking. This fulfillment makes overcoming addiction incredibly challenging, as it is often tied to the profound discontent individuals feel with themselves. Recognizing this dynamic is crucial for understanding the roots of addiction and moving towards genuine recovery.
You know the answer
Now you know what to look for in your own situation: trauma. Understanding the root cause of your discontent involves recognizing the psychological needs that your addiction fulfills in your life. When you dig deep into the roots of your addiction, you’ve already accomplished 75% of the work. This identifying process can be time-consuming and challenging, requiring patience, but I assure you, it is more than worth the effort.
Additionally, several factors drive addiction, including low self-esteem, your environment, a harsh inner critic, and a lack of direction in life. Keep your focus on these elements and work on improving them in your life. By doing so, you will be able to dissolve your addiction and pave the way for a healthier, more fulfilling existence.
The third building block
The third and final building block of sobriety is establishing systems in your life that effectively address your challenges. Once you’ve identified the root of the problem, it’s essential to create systems designed to solve it. Even during the identification phase, you can start implementing systems that aid in your understanding of the issues at hand.
So, what do I mean by “systems”? It involves creating a supportive environment for sobriety through habits that bolster your recovery. This may include exploring various methods to help you heal from trauma.
A supportive environment can consist of practices such as daily meditation, journaling, reading, maintaining a consistent exercise routine, learning to recognize your triggers, and engaging in hobbies that inspire and fulfill you. Incorporating these elements into your life can create a strong foundation for your sobriety. These are just a few examples—there are countless other habits that can support recovery. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that sometimes, it’s not only about adding new systems but also about removing those that perpetuate addiction.
For example, removing systems that support addictive behaviors can have a profound impact on your life. This might involve distancing yourself from friends who drink, avoiding places that trigger your desire to drink, limiting exposure to negative content, and reducing time spent on screens.
Another crucial aspect of building systems to combat addiction is exploring methods that facilitate trauma healing. Effective options can include therapy, hiring a coach, practicing yoga, utilizing EMDR therapy, and engaging in the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, among others. Each method offers a unique approach to understanding and healing trauma. Based on my personal experience, I highly recommend IFS, as it allows you to identify and heal trauma effectively and has proven effective in treating addictions.
The last aspect
The final aspect of building effective systems is to create a healthy mental environment where trauma can heal. This involves learning to observe yourself with acceptance, compassion, and love. When we judge, criticize, or harbor hatred toward ourselves, we create resistance that keeps trauma entrenched. It is essential to foster a mental environment that encourages healing and transcending these traumas.
Additionally, it’s important to recognize that trauma resides in the body. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk asserts, “The single most important issue for traumatized people is to find a sense of safety in their own bodies.” Think of your body as the home where your soul resides, and trauma can create an unsafe atmosphere within that home. To overcome trauma, you must learn to be okay with the feelings that these past experiences evoke within your body. This acceptance is the first step toward healing.
In the realm of addiction, it’s essential to acknowledge that addiction is comprised of approximately 80% trauma and 20% addictive behavior. By understanding your trauma and actively working to heal it, you can effectively dissolve your addiction. If you want to learn more about trauma and its effects, I encourage you to read my articles on the subject.
Conclusion
Addiction is a complex issue, but the purpose of this article is to simplify the process of dissolving it into three straightforward steps: Mindset, Identifying the Real Problem, and Building Solutions.
Mindset serves as the foundational building block of recovery. It’s what makes strategies effective; without the right mindset, achieving sobriety can be incredibly challenging. The next step is identifying the problem. By breaking down addiction to its roots, we can see that it becomes much easier to dissolve. Often, these roots lie in our personal traumas and the psychological needs that addiction fulfills in our lives. When we gain insight into our trauma and understand the psychological needs that our addiction addresses, we’ve already completed 75% of the work.
The final building block of sobriety involves creating systems that address these problems. This means cultivating an environment that supports your recovery, exploring methods to heal past traumas, and fostering a mental space conducive to transcending those traumas.
By integrating these three building blocks into your life, you will pave the way for lasting and natural sobriety. While I can’t say exactly when this transformation will occur, it’s simply a matter of time. Keep in mind that with persistence and dedication, you will achieve your goal.
